I’m certainly not a professional movie critic, so my scope in films over the year is severely limited to say the least. I certainly try to see the big buzz blockbusters, but there are quite a few movies that have slipped through the cracks for me. That being said, it would be sort of counterproductive to write a “Best Of 2011” column for something as limited as my experiences, so here is a quick roundup of moments and people from film and TV that I enjoyed this year.
Be warned, thar be spoilers ahead!
Top Five Heroes of 2011:
1. Colter Stevens (Source Code)-The regular person (myself included) whines when they have to go into work with a cold, so it takes a real hero to finish an important assignment when they are informed that they were literally killed a month ago. Captain Colter Stevens reminds the audience of the importance of the greater good, even after realizing it’s for a world he no longer has any part in.
2. Po (Kung Fu Panda 2)-Po won over both audiences and his fellow kung-fu masters in the original film with his balls to the wall love of all things kung-fu and his desire to protect those around him, but his second go around makes him all the more more likeable. After discovering the dark history of a life he never knew, Po refuses to let it bring him down, and instead uses it to achieve inner peace and perform the impossible.
3. Rory the Last Centurion (Doctor Who)-It may have been the Doctor who tracked Amy Pond to the impregnable fortress of Demon’s Run, but it was Rory who led the charge with a sword in one hand and a laser in the other. Good-hearted, loyal, and willing to plunge headfirst into Hell itself for his wife and child, Rory shows us all how even the most unassuming of characters can have the heart of a warrior. It also doesn’t hurt that he has the training of a thousand year old centurion to help transform him into a badass.
4. Captain Archibald Haddock (The Adventures of Tintin)-At first glance Haddock may appear to be a lost cause in the form of an incompetent and alcoholic oaf, but when pressed into dire situations or when his friends are in danger this lumbering doofus can become the most hardened of warriors to save the day. When not fighting for his friends he also delivers motivational speeches so epically that they deserve an Oscar unto themselves.
5. George Smiley (Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy)-Amidst a web of deceit, lies, and disgrace, former British Intelligence agent George Smiley still remains cool enough to root out an impossible to find Soviet mole while in the midst of being set up to take the fall. His sharp wits, expert detective skills, and years of training have made him the type of hardened man that even Batman would envy, and he always manages to remain levelheaded in spite of his critical situation.
Top Five Villains of 2011:
1. Professor James Moriarty (Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows)-A master of deceit, a legend in the world of literature, and portrayed by an actor of the highest caliber, Professor James T Moriarty is reinvigorated on the big screen in spectacular fashion. Brilliant, sinister, and full of seething hatred at the human condition, Moriarty’s loathing for legendary detective Sherlock Holmes is only surpassed by his immense respect for the man, making their first meeting a moment of barely restrained hatred behind a façade of pleasant smiles and autographs.
2. Lord Voldemort (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2)-The instantly recognizable villain of the Harry Potter universe returns in the final film installment of the decade spanning series, and what a return it is. When Ralph Fiennes isn’t chewing the scenery by the mouthful he’s exuding pure, seething evil with such simple grace that one has to wonder in fear just how this guy excels at playing such fantastic villains.
3. Helen Harris (Bridesmaids)-A perfectly relatable villain to anyone who has encountered someone like her (probably all of us), Helen Harris is the quintessential personification of the limelight stealing, passive aggressive c**t born for the sole purpose of making your life miserable. Whether she’s sabotaging your best laid plans, undermining your ideas, or stealing credit from where it is due, the antagonist of this witty and well-scripted film brings something to the table that makes everyone cringe in hatred… a sense of real life relation.
4. “Them” (Cowboys and Aliens)-A film that had a polarizing effect on its’ audiences to say the least, this film which was begging for schlock treatment was instead given a serious play thanks to talented director Jon Favreau. As a result, we get a race of aliens that are a perfect blend of original looking aliens (how great is it to see something other than a “grey” attacking Earth?) and physically powerful movie monsters.
5. Sebastian Shaw (X-men: First Class)-Fans have been clamoring for an X-men film about the Hellfire Club, and while January Jones nearly sank the idea with her portrayal of Emma Frost Kevin Bacon singlehandedly pulled the wreckage from the depths and made that film his b*tch. A brilliant and powerful mutant hellbent on global annihilation, Shaw brings a villainous attitude to the screen that’s part campy comic book super-villainry, and part James Bond super-villainry. The end result is the most campy and fun interpretation of a comic villain since Jack Nicholson stepped into the shoes of the Joker.
Top Five Moments of 2011
1. The Motorcycle Chase (The Adventures of Tintin)-Fast, taut, and exciting, the climactic chase scene near the end of this film is a perfectly paced action set piece reminiscent of the truck scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark. As Tintin chases down a runaway eagle through the streets of Bagghar, the only thing more pressing than catching the bird is the wall of water nipping at his heels.
2. The Game Changer (Doctor Who)-Three loud crackles of energy rang out on Silencio Lake, and less than fifteen minutes into the sixth series premiere everything you knew about Doctor who changed in a flash. Thus started the mystery and dilemma that carried throughout the entire season, leading to the most unexpected wedding in the history of the show and promising even more questions to be solved in the seventh series.
3. The Turn (X-men: First Class)-Magneto may be one of the greatest anti-heroes in the history of comic books. Not quite a sociopathic villain like the Joker, and not quite an amoral hero like the Punisher, Magneto runs a campaign of evil based on moral convictions which we all know are true, but these beliefs all stem from his personal life experiences and his short time as a hero. In this newest X-men adventure we are treated to an interpretation of when Magneto just plain went too far, and it’s just as awesome and terrifying as we could have hoped for.
4. The Sandstorm (Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol)-The tower heist is spectacular, the operation is awesome, but the foot/car chase that ensues as a sandstorm begins to blow into Dubai is a thousand times as intense as anything in the most over-inflated summer action film. This scene shows how, with a little good direction, some great stuntwork, and a good score, you can create a scene that comes across much more exciting and better looking than even the most expensive CG action scenes.
5. Gary Oldman (Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy)-He may not be an actual moment, but Gary Oldman is definitely a reason to still go see movies. It seems people like Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman continue to get Oscars for playing… Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman, but the real talent in Hollywood are the chameleons. People like Johny Depp, Meryl Streep, and Gary Oldman are who I find the most fascinating because I can watch ten of their films and if I didn’t know better I would swear I had just watched ten different actors playing those roles.
Top Five Dorks of 2011
1. Adam Sandler (Jack and Jill)-Only a true dork (or a brilliant money launderer: hint hint) could take eighty million dollars and produce a film as horrible as Jack and Jill. Add to it the countless product placements , endorsements, and commercials throughout the film and you have upwards of over 100 million dollars to make a movie that looks like it costs maybe 10 to do. It’s almost as if the money somehow disappeared… into someone’s pockets… allegedly.
2. Sam Witwicky (Transformers: Dark of the Moon)-Sam has always been an obnoxious character, but it wasn’t until the third film that he decided to become a full blown child. Acting like a spoiled, whining baby instead of the steadfast hero we are supposed to believe he is, watching him throw hissy fits helps us suddenly understand why his first girlfriend left him.
3. Hector Hammond (The Green Lantern)-Having a ridiculously massive head doesn’t automatically make you a badass super-villain, it makes you Beldar from Coneheads, only not as intimidating.
4. The Smurfs (The Smurfs)-How does this film get a worldwide release while films like The Goon and At the Mountains of Madness die quiet, uneventful deaths in production Hell? 142 million dollars… that’s how.
5. Ron Weasley (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2)-Unlike everyone else on this list, Ron is the endearing type of dork. He’s panicky for a hero and a bit of an awkward pariah, but he never fails to make us laugh, and is always dependable in a tight situation. He’s like that friend you really enjoy hanging out with, but hesitate to introduce to the rest of your friends.
My Top Five Most Enjoyable (Not Necessarily Best) Films of 2011
1. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2-9 out of 10
2. Cowboys and Aliens-9 out of 10
3. Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol-9.5 out of 10
4. Source Code-9 out of 10
5. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo-9.5 out of 10
(Special Recognition in the field of excellence)
Thor-8.5 out of 10
Adventures of Tintin-8.5 out of 10
Arthur Christmas-8 out of 10
Paul-9 out of 10
Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows-8 out of 10
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