The Green Lantern

I apologize for the long absence, but for the past few weeks I headed home to visit the family for Thanksgiving. To relate this little trip to film, let’s just call this review my Season 2 premiere. I always feel strange slipping back into my critic role after a long hiatus, as I try my hardest to keep it from being a lazy, uninteresting, self-destructive, half-assed attempt… sadly the production team for The Green Lantern didn’t share my frame of mind.

The Green Lantern was the next chapter in DC’s attempt to bring the Justice League to the big screen, trying to ride the coat-tails of positive press and word of mouth that The Avengers is already receiving. Now so far Warner Brothers has been doing a pretty OK job of setting the stage for this franchise, if not doing it WAY too late to become an effective set-up for the Justice League movie. Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight trilogy has become arguably the best comic book movie franchise in history, and despite the fact that I’m part of the tiny minority that seems to think so, I enjoyed Bryan Singer’s Superman Returns as a deliberately paced story instead of a comic action fest. So now we come to the third entry in the team, and along with The Flash and Wonder Woman we add another A-lister in the comic book universe with Hal Jordan, aka “Green Lantern”. Now I don’t know much about Green Lantern, as I’ve mentioned before (probably too many times) I grew up idolizing Marvel comics, but even without any knowledge of the franchise I still knew that with a few exceptions the entire team behind this film seemed to be phoning it in.

The film starts with a pretty OK origin story film, but despite setting up the film in a likeable if not overused way there seemed to be a lot of action movie clichés scattered about.

Cocky pilot with anxiety issues stemming from his father’s legacy? Check
Generic tough girl love interest? Check
Hero waking up next to attractive lady and running late for “the flight of his life”? Check
Completely unnecessary and hilariously inaccurate jet fighter sequence? Check
Emotional breakdown during key moment of the action scene that shows lack of nerves? Check
Board room reprimand and being told “He’s not his father” scene? Check

Still though, despite all these generic character traits for the main hero the film still managed to draw me into its’ story with half-decent writing, an interesting opening sequence in space, and Ryan Reynolds trying his ass off to make this work. This continues through the “discovery” phase and eventual “training” phase of the film, and I really liked the attitude of fun carefree enjoyment the movie seemed to have with this part. The first half or so of the film reminded me of The Last Starfighter both in tone and direction, and I actually thought I would really like this movie. Ryan Reynolds carries the role of Hal Jordan pretty dang well as he trains against impossible odds, discovers the true power that he holds in himself, and eventually makes the heroic choice to… immediately quit the Green Lantern Corps.

Oh… um… wait, what? He just quits? Well, uh… OK I guess. I mean, it must be really hard to know what to do with powers that the corps describes as limitless. I guess it would kind of make if you were responsible enough to relinquish those powers if you didn’t think that you could properly…

Ah Christ! They let him keep his ring and lantern? Is it just me or does this seem incredibly irresponsible to anyone else? I mean if you quit halfway through the police academy I’m pretty sure they don’t give you a badge and a gun as a farewell present, so why should they give a dropout something infinitely more powerful? Remember, this isn’t some guy who already proved himself worthy to the corps during his training, this dude is already looked down on by everyone in the corps including the leader Sinestro, who stated that he believes there was a large mistake in the ring choosing him. Well, maybe this is just a way to set Ryan Reynolds up to prove them wrong, to prove to them that he will do the right thing once he returns to Earth.

But nah, he immediately screws that up too. After the corps decided it would be a good idea to let him keep the gun he decides to just start waving it around in the air and showing it to all his buddies. After being told by his fish headed Green Lantern mentor how important it is to protect his identity the first thing this guy does is reveal himself to his best friend and the chick he wants to hop in bed with. Oh, by the way, did I say “best friend”? I should probably hold off on that term since the only link he seems to have with the story critical character is the fact that they know each other from work. Shouldn’t he trust someone a little more implicitly than “work associate” before he divulges the most important secret on the planet to him? Yeah, I know he helped him at the alien crash scene as well but even THAT seems like quite a lot to ask from someone whose first name you barely know.

Well, back to the action, we witness the first time Hal gets to use his powers in a practical situation, and even though creating a turbo jet car and a track out of thin air to keep a crashing helicopter away from innocent bystanders seems a lot more complicated to do than creating… I dunno… a WALL… or a PILLOW… it seems to work out well enough. Then of course Hal shows off his identity to what’s-his-face and what’s-her-name which goes against everything we know about the corps… then something happens… something else happens… the #2 bad guy gets a giant head and tries to kill Tim Robbins. Then Hal busts in and saves the day. The climactic battle ensues… and this is where things get just plain creepy.

I know I’ve stated before that setting up climactic and epic showdowns between the hero and villain has become way too much of a focal point in Hollywood action films, but there has GOT to be a happy medium between Transformers and Green Lantern. Yeah, Transformers may have had WAY TOO MANY explosions, gunfights, and giant killer robots, but do you want to know how the climax of Green Lantern plays out? Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

SPOILERS BELOW

Hal comes smashing through the wall and saves How Stella Got Her Groove Back by creating a pool of water for her to fall into (and probably drown in), then gets knocked down by Big Head Guy (Bad Guy #2). Big Head Guy walks over to where he is lying helplessly, then falls over (yes, FALLS over, not lay down) and the two of the lay next to each other looking sheepishly into each other’s eyes. They take turns touching each other with their fingers while exchanging awkward quips, Big Head Guy burns Tim Robbins alive with some flame throwers while still looking into Hal’s eyes, and then Hal throws the bad guy into some steam, where he yells at him angrily before standing up and walking out the front door. I am NOT S**TTING you, that is how the climax plays out. If you think I’m exaggerating, feel free to watch the movie yourself and tell me otherwise.

END SPOILERS

So anyways, a whopping army of six whole Green Lanterns go to confront Bad Guy #1 (Parallax) in space who is controlling Big Head Guy on Earth. They of course get their asses kicked so Sinestro runs away instead of trying to help them and decides the best way to fight this power is by using the power of fear to create a yellow ring and defeat Parallax. For being the wisest and mightiest heroes in the galaxy these guys are practically retarded. They just saw the creation of this monster first hand when it tried to use fear, and the first thing they think of to fight is  “Well s**t, it seemed to work well for that guy, let’s do the same”. And this horrible idea stems from the loss of six Lanterns?

Listen… nobody likes losing their friends in battle, but when you take on this responsibility it seems that you are signing up to risk your life in defense of the universe. Losing six superheroes may sound like a crushing defeat, but just moments ago we saw an entire planet literally filled with Green Lanterns. Maybe instead of launching a last ditch campaign that will probably corrupt and eventually destroy every single Lantern you should try sending more than 0.00000000000000001% of your fighting force to deal with this guy, especially when just six of you seemed to be enough to almost defeat him in the last confrontation. Also, when a Lantern dies they don’t lose that power for the rest of time, the ring just finds someone new to wield it instead, so they could replace those lost lanterns in like, a month tops.

So the time for the final battle comes. Hal talks the council out of being stupid assholes and asks to let him fight Parallax instead. They snicker behind their hands and tell him sure… go for it, so he heads back to Earth to fight Big Head Guy. Hal is ready for the final confrontation, he’s pumped, he’s angry, and he uses his cosmic powers to… immediately surrender all over again and give that power to the bad guy (ugh). Why did the ring choose this idiot in the first place? So he hands over the ring… stuff happens again… Parallax shows up and says Bad Guy #2 has failed him (HOW?!? This dude just got you the most powerful weapon in the universe?) and kills him. Hal of course gets his ring back and creates a whole bunch of items to conveniently stop this planet sized dude.

Around this time I was REALLY starting to get tired of the Green Lantern creating items out of thin air to fight the bad guys. It was cool once or twice, but after about two hours it begins to stop resembling a superhero movie and starts to resemble Inspector Gadget. I looked up the wiki on Green Lantern and his powers are limitless, but apparently the only thing this movie decided to focus on was flying and making crap like jets (that somehow fly in space) up on the fly. Good guys win… Green Lanterns love humans, and they all live happily ever after.

So the story stinks, but at the very least it doesn’t suffer from the problem I pointed out in my last review, glazing over important components of the story arc. This film was written with a beginning, a middle, and an end, and more importantly it had an introduction, rising action, climax, falling action, and a resolution. If a jumbled, disjointed mess like this film could get that right then I don’t understand how other big budget films could screw it up so badly.

It was a shame that this film failed so miserably because there were several things in it that really set it apart from other action films as well. Ryan Reynolds did a great job in the role of Hal Jordan, and this role is something of a record because it makes him the only actor I can think of who has played three major comic book characters (his other two were Hannibal King and Wade Wilson/Deadpool) well. He brought a sort of happy, childish glee to the role that I think every person in the world would exhibit if they got these powers. It reminded me of Chris Evans in Fantastic Four, who, if you remember, was the only good thing about that piece of crap movie as well. It was just really good to see someone embrace a role so completely that I have a feeling he probably grew up loving comic books.

The effects were pretty solid as well, and even though several parts of the film were purposely cartoony the majority of the film looked pretty polished and cool. It was also really nice to see prosthetics used instead of overusing CGI again, as Big-Head-Guy was a thousand times more real looking than any version of CG Yoda. Also nice to see was that the film wasn’t afraid to bring a sense of cosmic importance to the table, you really felt there was a lot at stake if the Lanterns failed. Just including the space aspect of the franchise was a breath of fresh air as well, since most comic book movies will neuter the space angle because they are afraid of alienating (no pun intended) the audience.

That being said, there were countless other things about the film that I hated, but didn’t bring up in my summary. One of the funniest that stood out in my head was the “lack of nerves” attack and flashback scene that Hal has in his fighter jet at the beginning of the movie. A few years ago there was a satire of jet fighter action movies called Hot-Shots, and one of the funnier spoofs included in the film was a very funny satire of Charlie Sheen freaking out in his cockpit whenever anyone mentioned his dad. The way it was shot, the voiceovers while it happened, the close-up of his face while the radio screamed in his ear, it all looked like a funny interpretation of every action movie ever where the hero has an emotional breakdown, and it was hysterical.

Unfortunately, the makers of Green Lantern decided to channel that exact scene in this film, and the result it just as hilarious, only not intentionally. They may as well have given Hal the callsign “Maverick-Right-After-Goose-Dies” he freaks out so badly, and even more ridiculous is the fact that absolutely NOTHING triggered his breakdown except for a picture of his father he keeps on his instruments gauges (because in flight school they teach you it’s smart to cover up your instruments with a whole bunch of random s**t). If he flies with that picture all the time then how come he’s never freaked out like that before? The Scene just came off sooooooo cheesy.

The cinematography is just as mediocre and generic as this scene as well, as almost every single shot of the film is a flat angle shot. No imagination or unique storytelling here, just flat angle shot after flat angle shot at every turn. Dance scene in the bar? Flat angle shot. Showing his costume to his friend? Flat Angle Shot. Talking to the Overlords about Parallax? Flat angle shot. Flat angle shot, flat angle shot, flat angle shot, flat angle shot, flat angle shot, flat angle shot, flat angle shot. The cinematographer broke new ground when he decided to show weapons materialize in Hal and Sinestro’s hands from a (gasp) low angle shot, and then showed Hal murdering a bunch of rowdy bar patrons with a giant fist from a (wait for it)… high angle shot. Even most of the jet fighter scenes were shot at a flat angle!

And oh yeah, the acting! Where the hell was it in this film? I can’t even imagine how irritating it must have been to be Ryan Reynolds and see everyone around you just reading their lines with no emotion, especially considering how hard he tried to make this movie work. The only other person in the film who didn’t look like he was ready for a nap was Tim Robbins, but his role was so minor and insignificant that his performance is mostly wasted. I don’t know who Blake Lively is, but I didn’t buy into her character al all. I have a feeling that Big Head Guy was trying to inject a sinister edge or something into his role and have some fun with it, but he just came of sorta gay and weird, especially in that awkward climax. Even the usually awesome Mark Strong came off sounding bored out of his mind, like he wanted to be in any film but this one.

Once again we are given a Hollywood assembly line action film, mostly devoid of feeling, personality, and soul. It comes off like a movie imitating a movie, with all the crucial points of a film replaced by sterile special effects and uninteresting characters. Despite the surprisingly likeable turn in from Ryan Reynolds and the generic but sort of enjoyable first half, the film’s self-destructive second half totally ruins what could have been a great comic film.

5.5 out of 10