Twofer tuesday: The Rock and Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol

Wait…what? Why would I pick to do a double review of The Rock and Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol? Could I pick two films that had any less to do with each other than the fact that they’re both popcorn action films? Well to be honest, there really isn’t a whole lot these two films have in common on the surface , but that’s not what I’m really interested in with this review. What I AM interested in is the bones of the film, the unseen underworks of the movie, and the beating heart of both these action blockbusters.

Now a lot of you know how I feel about the pompous, self-important , bloated CG cartoon that was Transformers 2 and 3, more importantly… you know how I feel about its director Michael Bay. So imagine my surprise when, while watching The Rock (one of my all-time favorite action films) I discovered that it was NOT directed by Don Simpson like I had previously thought, but by the one and only Michael Bay. This absolutely blew my mind, but made me completely rethink my entire opinion on this man. How could someone as talented and brilliant as the director of this film fall so far from grace with his recent outings? More importantly, how does this factor in with the recent smash hit Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol? Well, we’re going to find out together, and while this may be one of the longer reviews I’ve written in quite a while, it’s also the most personal, and you might just learn how these films have a little more in common than you may think.

I-Effects vs. Stunt Work-Bigger isn’t always better-Quick! Think of the most exhilarating moments from The Rock, Mission Impossible III (or IV), and Transformers 2 or 3. I don’t know about you, but when I think of The Rock I think of scenes like Mason rolling through the incinerator, the shower room shootout, when the marines fire the first rocket, and countless others. In Mission Impossible III I think of scenes like the warehouse shootout, the battle on the bridge, and the Hong Kong tower robbery. Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol has countless scenes just as exciting as these, but I won’t mention them out of fear of revealing some spoilers. When I try to think of scenes like these in the two latest Transformers films I think of elaborate action set pieces that don’t really elicit the same reactions as the other films, and why do you suppose that is? People who have read my reviews will know how caring about these characters adds a lot more tension and gravity to these situations, but another part of eliciting these feeling stems from the original, practical, and precise creation of these scenes.

Once upon a time computer generated imagery (CGI) was the wave of the future and was used to supplement special effects or action scenes. It started with noble intentions, but as the technology was advanced and exploited as complacency in Hollywood set in it grew into a monster that allowed lazy directors to create entire film scenes with it. Nowhere is this more visible than in the Star Wars prequels, where the entire scene seems to look like a fancy cartoon, but another great example can be found in the last two Transformers films. The technology is used by Michael Bay to create cartoony looking fight scenes between cartoony looking robots in cartoony looking cities. No work was needed to create these scenes, and as a result creating high tech Saturday morning cartoon action scenes doesn’t create any real sense of awe anymore in an audience that is no longer impressed by special effects in this day and age. I mean if I wanted to see clean looking CG action pieces I would play a video game like Uncharted 2, Gears of War 3, or countless others that look just as good as real life.

Now compare these sterile, cartoony looking action scenes with the action pieces from the other films I brought up. Real stunts requiring things like precise timing, execution, and physical effort can create a visceral reaction in the audience such as a gasp, a jump, or an increased heart rate, reactions which can be associated with the same feelings the characters in the scene must be experiencing. This linking of emotional response is called an “emotional association”, and as a result this response helps pull the audience into this amazing scene or stunt they have just witnessed and also creates a tension that all the fake CG robots in the world can’t create. Think of scenes like the “Tower Climb” in Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol, a scene which created an audible gasp from the audience which I haven’t heard since… well… since a few of the stunts in The Rock. But don’t take my word for it, check it out yourself. Now honestly tell me, which of the following scenes do you find more exhilarating? The antiquated and CG-less incinerator scene from The Rock (starting at 1:08)…

Or the dazzling and colorful cartoon robot fight scene from Transformers 3?

Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but I can honestly say that the incinerator scene creates waaaaaaay more excitement and tension than cartoon robots. Now of course you can say that story wise there was a lot more going on in The Rock than the absolute nothing in Transformers, but even taken out of context I find the incinerator scene the greater of the two. Why? Because while making this film the director went to the trouble of hiring a stuntman, creating this elaborately dangerous set, and then filming this insanely dangerous scene which came out looking real and amazing. He did NOT just have a computer animator create a colorful action scene out of pixels with little to no effort on his end and have it come out looking like f**king crap, he was forced to actually… wait for it… care about the scene.

II-Definable Components of a Story Arc-A few articles back I wrote about the importance of the Story Arc in a story, and how recently Hollywood appears to have forgotten how to incorporate all five parts of a story arc into a film. One of the reasons I loved MI: GP was that, just like The Rock, it had all five parts which were easily identified throughout the film. These days just including that facet into a film seems to be all it takes to make a film into a masterpiece.

Both films start with a powerful and well executed introduction, MI: GP opens with an exciting, action packed assassination that sets the tone for an exciting, action packed film while The Rock transitions from a quietly powerful cemetery visit into a brilliantly executed base infiltration. This transition shows that while this is an action film at its’ core it definitely has a message behind the action and heart to the story, as well as establishing that General Hummel is an anti-hero and not just a typical villain. This simple extra five minutes of expository monologue perfectly establishes this important facet of the character, a stark contrast to the rushed mess of dialogue that Michael Bay movies will eventually become.

Next comes the majority of the story arc, rising action. Now it’s during this point in the story arc that the majority of other summer blockbusters seem to self-destruct lately, but where films like Transformers and G.I. Joe utterly fail as movies, MI: GP and The Rock excel, and there’s a simple reason why. The former two films convey information poorly and ineffectively, usually with rushed dialogue which is drowned out during action that is occurring on screen. This creates a sense of confusion in the audience, which leads to giving up on following the story, which leads to action scenes that have no significant impact on the audience.

The latter films however create scenes that effectively convey critical information in an effective and simple way, and sadly, this tactic is a thousand times easier to create than trying to create an “exciting” or “exhilarating” way of doing so. A scene will start, characters will exchange genuine, believable dialogue, dialogue which conveys information and reveals personal traits of the character to the audience, and then the scene ends and transitions to the next scene which repeats this simple method. Every scene serves a purpose, and every action advances the story along by increasing either the importance of the situation or the level of tension, hence the name “rising action”.

Both of the latter films each have a clear and distinct climax whereas Transformers, Green Lantern, Captain America, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, and pretty much any other summer blockbuster have impossible to pinpoint climaxes, or climaxes that we don’t realize are supposed to be the climax, but we don’t recognize until the film is over. The Rock and MI: GPs’ climaxes strangely enough both center around the launch of a missile, one towards San Francisco and one towards the U.S., and in each of these scenes the tension of this moment is so intense that there is no doubt in our mind that we are at the climax of the film, with the launch in The Rock being a little more intense and suspenseful in my opinion. So with this information what would you say the climax was in each of those other summer films? I can tell you right now there was no real, literal climax, as the action never really peaked before leading into the next section. In fact, the vast majority of summer releases seem to just create rising action that just keeps rising into the resolution.

Next comes falling action, with MI: GP Ethan hunt and friends try to abort the missile while in The Rock John Mason and Stanley Goodspeed race to disable the last rocket. It’s tense and exciting, and a perfect way to finish the film, but it is definitely falling action since it follows the climax and signals the downward trend of action. Again, most other action films seem to glaze right over this, and I could give examples from the other films I’ve listed but by now I’ve given those examples way too much. And finally we have resolution, with each film tying up the loose ends of the movie.

Now while I’ve stated that having these components is in a movie is necessary to create an effective and engrossing story, it must be a sad time in Hollywood if I have to use The Rock as a prime example of how to convey the story arc in an action film. The Rock isn’t supposed to be Dickens, or Twain, or Shakespeare, or the work of any other master storyteller, it’s meant to be action schlock (albeit excellent action schlock). But in this time of slapped together, lazily written, poorly executed cartoony action films just having a solid story like in the old days of action films transforms a generic action adventure film into movie magic.

III-A New Generation of Action Stars-I’ll keep this brief because I can’t elaborate much on it, but when you take all the physical work out of creating an action set piece by using nothing but CG to create scenes you remove the necessity of action star types to perform in the scene. This is great when you can cast more believable people in the role of a “hero of circumstance” like Sigourney Weaver as Ellen Ripley, but casting directors have gotten so lazy that they aren’t even focusing on the best fit as much as the “hot ticket”. The best example would be casting Shia Lebouf as the hero of multiple action films, and I’m not just talking about the Transformer films, I’m also talking about countless other action/adventure movies such as Eagle Eye, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Disturbia, and so on.

I know it sounds petty and trivial, and for the most part it is, but it’s just next to impossible to believe this weak coward in real life is supposed to be a tough guy in film. And yes, I said coward because a good friend of mine was the Blackhawk pilot at the end of the first Transformers film and said that even though the helicopter was parked and braked during the scenes Shia would cry every… single… time he had to get close to it. Compare this behavior to behind the scenes special features that show Arnold, Bruce, and Tom Cruise doing all their own stunts, often turning away stuntmen to make the scene look more realistic. Hollywood seems to think that anyone can be in an action movie now, and we’ve gone from using action heroes like this…

To action heroes like this...

Now some of you out there may be saying “Well Nicolas Cage isn’t an action hero, and he was in The Rock!”, to which I reply, “I couldn’t agree more”. While I do like Nicolas Cage as an actor, I loathe him as an action hero, and I believe his picture should be right up there with those other three guys. Nicolas Cage is at his best when he’s playing a whiny, loser-y, kind of douche-y fish out of water character battling with crippling self-esteem issues, like in Weatherman, Leaving Las Vegas, and Adaptation. Casting him as some sort of bad-ass would suck, which is exactly what they tend to do with him lately in films such as Ghost Rider, Windtalkers, and of course, Con Air.

Now stop and think about this for a second. Yes, Nicolas Cage had top billing in The Rock, but would you really consider him an action hero in it? My vote is NO. Stanley Goodspeed was not a door kicking, ass beating, line quipping action star, he was a brilliant chemical scientist with a fear of going into combat, and for damn good reason. The bad ass billings in the film go to Sean Connery and Michael Beihn, Goodspeed was just more of a shipwreck of a field agent stumbling his way through tense situations and needing Sean Connery to get him out of a bunch of bad places. Even when he totally gets a massive advantage by getting the drop on one of the Marines he’s able to land two whole solid blows before said Marine proceeds to swiftly kick his ass, once again getting saved by sheer luck when he pops the chemical vial into the guys’ mouth.

“Well what about Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol?” you might ask. Well, yeah Tom was kicking ass in that movie, but the film didn’t revolve around how much ass he could actually kick. The Mission Impossible franchise (and the first film in particular) never really focused on shooting or fighting, they revolved around a group of individuals being able to think around walls and solve seemingly impossible situations. Tom Cruise, while being the main character and team leader, never really felt like the action star of the film, he was part of a larger story. At the end of the fourth film each member of the team had a critical task to accomplish, and I thought it did a great job showing how each of these players was just as important as, if not more so than, Ethan Hunt.

I can also buy the idea of Cruise in this role for one big reason which I discussed earlier, by using practical effects and real stunts the film creates a scene that Cruise HAD to physically participate in himself. There is a huge difference between Tom Cruise scaling a massive skyscraper in a real wide angle shot, and Shia Labeouf squaring off one on one with a giant killer cartoon robot.

Now as I just demonstrated, I don’t mind having a loser in an action movie, but I DO mind when you have said loser issuing orders to soldiers, bossing around giant robots, and magically kicking ass without any explanation.

IV-Camerawork, the Ancient Lost Art of Giving a S**t-In the golden age of action films talented directors such as James Cameron, Sam Raimi, Sylvester Stallone, Michael Bay, James McTiernan, Don Simpson, and yes… even Michael bay needed something to differentiate themselves from the countless other action films out on the market. These directors were forced to care about their work in order to differentiate themselves from the pack, so they took painstaking steps to create a film that made them stand out from the competition. They did so by either exhibiting and utilizing outstanding camerawork, or flat out creating entirely new methods of camerawork.

Camerawork is the tactical use of film cameras to create a scene that conveys a distinct style or emotion to the viewer. While films nowadays might be mostly lost with modern Hollywood directors there was a time that this was one of the most crucial components of a film, especially action films. Creative and unique camerawork can turn a generic action schlock picture into a standout entertaining film, and believe it or not one of the most creative and original pioneers of action camerawork was none other than Michael Bay himself.

Now faithful readers of this blog will remember that my criticisms towards Mr. Bay have been severe to say the least, but despite my opinions of the man I have never hesitated to state that I believe him to be one of the finest cinematographers to come out of Hollywood in the last twenty-five years. His use of wide-angle shots, Dutch angles, and slow motion was a breath of fresh air in the 90s, and even stands up to the best of action films by todays’ standards. I mean the man was even utilizing an antiquated form of the “bullet time” camera trick years before The Matrix made it so damn popular! The man was a genius of film.

So what the hell happened to this guy? In a word… complacency and misconceptions. Just like how George Lucas became a lazy fat turd who directed an entire trilogy of films by filming some actors in front of a blue screen and then digitally creating entire scenes, Michael Bay has traded his legitimate directing chops in favor of creating dazzling cartoon action scenes with no real feeling to them. Unlike Lucas however, at least Bay actually cares about the films he creates, he just thinks that creating mind numbing action scenes is what audiences want over things like story, tension, and characters. It’s just sad to see a man with so much talent utterly fail at creating the most simple of things these days, creating an emotional connection with a film. I mean, look at the opening to The Rock and tell me this isn’t better than everything in all of his recent films combined.





Now what does all of this have to do with my opinion of MI: GP? Well if you haven’t figured it out by now I loved it, but not just because of all of its’ obvious strengths. Despite its’ breathtaking stunts, outstanding story, excellent cast, brilliant direction, and tense set pieces, this film really clicked with me because it reminded me of classic action films that used special effects as a supplement, not a means, and in that regard there is no greater example than a film like the Rock. In fact, once upon a time, none other than George Lucas himself said in a behind the scenes Star Wars special feature “Special effects are a tool, a means of telling a story, and a special effect without a story is a pretty boring thing”. Downplaying special effects and focusing on the movie structure itself is an outstanding example of how these days the real key to making good action films is seriously good old fashioned live filming and stunt work, which sadly seems lost on most directors in Hollywood these days.

So why the comparison between MI: GP and The Rock? Well call me crazy, but it felt like with this film director Brad Bird was trying to create a film that was a throwback to the great action films of the 90s. This isn’t much of a stretch for Bird, I mean after all, this is the same guy who directed The Incredibles, which was a throwback to the classic 1960s James Bond spy movies and superhero comics. However you compare it though, the film is flat out excellent, and even though I may not agree with everyone who says it is the best film in the series (THAT award belongs to Mission Impossible III) I definitely hold it in the highest regards for action movie standards, which makes it look like Casablanca by the standards of today’s action film standards.

Creating a good and entertaining action film seems to be a vanishing trend in Hollywood, so when a film like MI: GP hits the mark so well and does so good in the box office it gives me hope that maybe we aren’t doomed to Transformers films for the rest of our lives. Supporting great action films like this is the key to making directors care about the quality of their films once again.

The Rock-8 out of 10

Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol-9 out of 10







Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

Ten years ago acclaimed actor Johny Depp decided to completely do away with the entire pirate cliché and put his own personal spin on a classic archetype.  Channeling Keith Richards and Pepe Le’ Pue he created legendary pirate Captain Jack Sparrow, a character so unique and so interesting that it turned an overused stereotype into a classic movie character and has become one of the most influential (if not one of the most important) characters in the history of film. Although the two sequels may have floundered compared to the genre-bending first film they did contain several key moments and scenes that were flat out brilliant, but none of them could compare to Depp’s ingenious interpretation of Captain Jack. So… does Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides stack up to the original film, or flounder like the disappointing sequels?

I hate to say it, but it doesn’t even compare to the lame sequels. Despite a talented cast, director and writer the film comes off as being over-produced, underwhelming, and hastily written. Johny Depp and Geoffrey Rush can only do so much with this script, and while they do manage to drive the plot forward to the best of their abilities even they can’t make this noisy mess of a story work. How could they screw this up so badly? Where do we begin on our doomed journey to the Fountain of Youth?

The biggest and most glaring problem with the film is tension, or should I say, the absolute lack of tension throughout the entire freaking movie. Nothing is at stake during this adventure and nothing is presented to the audience to make us care about the overall outcome of the events We are treated to beautiful scenery and amazing visuals, but without anything to drive the plot forward or any consequences to make us care about the journey it is nothing but a two hour photo session. Creating stakes isn’t hard to do, in fact it’s so easy that it’s almost like an equation in a film with a simple line of dialogue such as “If we don’t ___________, then ___________ is going to __________”. A story without tension is one of the biggest travesties you could commit when writing an adventure story, because without any tension surrounding the overall outcome of a struggle even the most brilliant set pieces and action scenes amount to nothing at all because quite simply… there are no stakes.

Now I’d like to compare the absolute lack of stakes in this film to my favorite all time episode of Doctor Who entitled “Let’s Kill Hitler”. The episode revolves around the Doctor trying to not only rescue Rory and Amy from a renegade sentient robot, but also trying to redeem River Song and convert her from a hired killer into the strong, independent hero she would eventually become. As if this isn’t already enough for one person to deal with, add to this dilemma the fact that the Doctor has been poisoned, and he only has a limited amount of time before he dies in the middle of his desperate mission. The entire episode is so chock full of beautiful and meaningful moments of discovery from each character that entire character arcs could be better explored in this one episode than most epic film franchises have in an entire trilogy. But… the most important thing about this episode in relation to this article is that within fifteen minutes this episode effectively establishes incredibly crucial stakes, and several of them.

1.      If the Doctor dies before getting River to save them, then Rory and Amy will die.

2.      If Rory and Amy can’t get the council to redact their judgment, River will die.

3.      If River doesn’t realize the error of her ways, the Doctor will die.

These conflicts help make all of the desperate situations in the show that much more desperate as the time ticks away. The Doctor is slowly dying an agonizing death,  River is facing disillusionment and regret at the choices she has made during her lifetime, and Amy and Rory are fighting off a swarm of killer robots while trying to convince a judicial council that they have made the wrong decision about the judgment they have passed. The high stakes of this episode transform every single act in the episode into a life or death moment, I mean the Doctor can barely crawl to the Tardis in some scenes as he attempts to save Amy and Rory, and he realizes that if he fails to convince River to renounce her ways then Amy and Rory are as good as dead.

Now sure, for a show that deals with potentially universe destroying problems on a weekly basis the potential loss of four lives aren’t exactly devastating, but the point is that stakes are simple to incorporate into any setting in a story. In Doctor Who they were able to establish these stakes simply, organically, and quickly without resorting to a clichéd doomsday line like “If we don’t ______ within the next _______, it’ll be the end of the world as we know it!”. And even though this line may be clichéd I have no problem with something THAT simple in a film compared to the nothingness of POTC: OST. Pretty much any film you can think of that had a lot of tension (which is a NECESSITY in an action film) had something at stake. Indy and friends in Raiders of the Lost Ark were chasing the Ark because if the Third Reich found out how to use its’ power they would become invincible, if Vader was victorious in Empire Strikes Back then the Rebellion would have lost its’ final hope in defeating the Empire, if Theo didn’t get the baby to The Human Project in Children of Men then the world would never figure out how to cure the worldwide sterilization, and if Andy didn’t get out of Shawshank then the warden would get away with murder, embezzling, and extortion.

Now using the information you just read, what were the stakes in Pirates of the Caribbean? What would have happened to any of the characters, ANY of them, if they had not succeeded in their crusade? Blackbeard wasn’t dying of old age, Angelica wasn’t dying of scurvy, Jack Sparrow wasn’t dying of being way too awesome, no one had anything to lose if they hadn’t found the fountain. In fact there’s one scene where the Spanish destroy the fountain for no apparent reason and everyone just sort of stands around for a few minutes with a “Gee, now what do we do?” look on their faces. Yeah, sure, some stuff happens very late in the film which makes the fountain much more important to some wounded characters, but the point is that these dummies left to find it knowing that:

1.      They were in fine health and not mortally ill

2.      The fountain only extended life proportionally, it didn’t make you live forever

3.      The journey to the fountain was very dangerous and a lot of people would probably be killed

A lack of stakes is such a travesty against a story that this alone would have been enough for me to turn people off from seeing it, but sadly this is not the only problem. There are a lot of scenes just sort of shoved into this movie that don’t feel like they belong, and to make it worse these scenes assault the eyes and ears with overly produced scenes and overly loud action pieces. This tactic of filming action scenes happened non-stop in the second and third movie, but it wasn’t as irritating in those films because they primarily dealt with legends of the sea with every action scene. Whenever there was action happening on screen there was usually a legend like Davy Jones, tribal rituals, shipwreck graveyards, the Charybdis, Aztec gold, and mythical monsters like the Kraken attached to the action scene to give it levity and that sort of “Legends of the Sea” feel to it. In this film there is one action scene involving mermaids which is kind of mediocre, but for the most part there isn’t any levity or meaning to these over the top action scenes since there is never really anything hanging in the balance, and at this point it just seems really, really old hat.

This is really a shame since there are quite a few things in the film that really worked quite well for the film, most notably (no surprise here) Johny Depp reprising his role as Captain Jack Sparrow. Depp has never shied from the idea of proclaiming Jack to be his personal favorite of all his roles, and his reverence and love for the role is in full view here. He returns as Jack with a sort of childlike glee and passion that makes this a standout role even for someone with a film history as distinguished as his. On the flip side of this joyful turn in is the equally stellar Geoffrey Rush returning as Captain Hector Barbosa, brining an angry and dark but spirited portrayal to the table. The two of them have always had an outstanding chemistry between them that borders on divine, a sort of oil and vinegar chemistry, and they play off of each other as well and believably as bickering siblings.

A talented supporting cast helps bring life to the characters of the film (the one bright spot of the movie), but sadly the real waste of the movie is the always amazing (and one of my favorite actors) Ian McShane as Blackbeard. It’s not that he’s bad, in fact quite the opposite, he is so freaking good in his role (channeling all of his Deadwood Al Swearingen angry greatness) that I couldn’t wait to see him on screen as soon as he walked off. He exudes such a quiet menace and dismissive attitude towards everything around his that I was riveted to my seat. In every scene his pure, unchecked disdain towards every single person around him is palpable, as if every person around him is nothing but a waste of his time. It could almost be confused as boredom, but the brilliant hatred he seeps off of himself in each scene is so cool that I always wonder why he isn’t in every movie ever made.

And sadly, that’s the problem he has in this film, lack of influence. The first time he walks out on deck and shows what he’s capable of is awesome, but after that he’s barely in the movie! When he does have a scene it typically consists of him speaking a handful of lines, exits screen left, and then we are McShane-less again for about ten or fifteen minutes. How are we supposed to fear and hate a protagonist who barely has any screen time? It’s kind of hard to fear a villain when all of his coolest stories are actually told to us by other characters instead of shown to us.

There are a bunch of other things wrong with film, but they don’t measure up to the problems I already listed. Weak, if not just weird, writing, bad cinematography, poor, uneven pacing, countless anachronisms (flamethrowers for God’s sake?), and breaking my suspension of belief are some of chief complaints. Now what do I mean by “breaking my suspension of belief”? Pretty much exactly what it sounds like. Whenever I watch a movie I always slip into a mode where I realize I’m watching a movie, so I should just check my knowledge of physics, luck, and human strength at the door, but at a couple of points in the movie this film just went so far that it surpassed suspension of belief and just plain didn’t make sense.

For example, I watch a film like Raiders of the Lost Ark and I can get behind the idea of Indy getting dragged behind a car, or wrapping his whip around a branch and swinging from it, because they are things the body is capable of. Sure they might be things that you could only do once in a blue moon (like making your whip do that), or things that only a person in peak physical condition can do (Like surviving some of those stunts), but they are possible under the right circumstances. Furthermore, after watching Indy getting dragged for like half a mile behind that supply truck we are treated to a scene of Indy in bed, writhing in pain, tending his wounds, and so tired that he even falls asleep despite the prospect of sex. We see the consequences of those actions, and even elaborate, impossible events seem much more possible with these scenes.

On the other hand, Pirates of the Caribbean characters seemingly do the impossible without any regards to physical limits or physics in general. At one point Jack stands on top a coconut tree and pulls a second tree back with a rope to a forty-five degree angle using nothing but his arms. There’s no reason, no explanation for how a hundred and sixty pound average guy can do this, no lead up, he just does the impossible without the faintest of reasons. Even stranger is the fact that even if you were bitten by a radioactive spider and you somehow could do that, he’s standing on top of another tree as he does this without being flung from it like a slingshot. There’s no reason this should happen, and it happens a lot in this film. There’s a swordfight on a rocking ship teetering over the edge of a cliff, and whenever one side weighs more it shifts to that side. This is an interesting and semi-original idea for an action scene, but during the whole fight the angles they are moving at and the weight distribution of the ship are all wrong! All the treasure on the ship shifts to the side going over the edge, but then Jack throws a book to the other side and suddenly everything is even again? I know it’s a small complaint and I know it’s just a movie, but these scenes really jar me out of the film.

It’s just sad to see the slow spin down the toilet bowl of a film franchise that started out as something so original and so promising. Although sporting a promising premise, a talented cast, and a beautiful locale, it still appears that this franchise has finally… run aground (groan).

5 out of 10

The Green Lantern

I apologize for the long absence, but for the past few weeks I headed home to visit the family for Thanksgiving. To relate this little trip to film, let’s just call this review my Season 2 premiere. I always feel strange slipping back into my critic role after a long hiatus, as I try my hardest to keep it from being a lazy, uninteresting, self-destructive, half-assed attempt… sadly the production team for The Green Lantern didn’t share my frame of mind.

The Green Lantern was the next chapter in DC’s attempt to bring the Justice League to the big screen, trying to ride the coat-tails of positive press and word of mouth that The Avengers is already receiving. Now so far Warner Brothers has been doing a pretty OK job of setting the stage for this franchise, if not doing it WAY too late to become an effective set-up for the Justice League movie. Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight trilogy has become arguably the best comic book movie franchise in history, and despite the fact that I’m part of the tiny minority that seems to think so, I enjoyed Bryan Singer’s Superman Returns as a deliberately paced story instead of a comic action fest. So now we come to the third entry in the team, and along with The Flash and Wonder Woman we add another A-lister in the comic book universe with Hal Jordan, aka “Green Lantern”. Now I don’t know much about Green Lantern, as I’ve mentioned before (probably too many times) I grew up idolizing Marvel comics, but even without any knowledge of the franchise I still knew that with a few exceptions the entire team behind this film seemed to be phoning it in.

The film starts with a pretty OK origin story film, but despite setting up the film in a likeable if not overused way there seemed to be a lot of action movie clichés scattered about.

Cocky pilot with anxiety issues stemming from his father’s legacy? Check
Generic tough girl love interest? Check
Hero waking up next to attractive lady and running late for “the flight of his life”? Check
Completely unnecessary and hilariously inaccurate jet fighter sequence? Check
Emotional breakdown during key moment of the action scene that shows lack of nerves? Check
Board room reprimand and being told “He’s not his father” scene? Check

Still though, despite all these generic character traits for the main hero the film still managed to draw me into its’ story with half-decent writing, an interesting opening sequence in space, and Ryan Reynolds trying his ass off to make this work. This continues through the “discovery” phase and eventual “training” phase of the film, and I really liked the attitude of fun carefree enjoyment the movie seemed to have with this part. The first half or so of the film reminded me of The Last Starfighter both in tone and direction, and I actually thought I would really like this movie. Ryan Reynolds carries the role of Hal Jordan pretty dang well as he trains against impossible odds, discovers the true power that he holds in himself, and eventually makes the heroic choice to… immediately quit the Green Lantern Corps.

Oh… um… wait, what? He just quits? Well, uh… OK I guess. I mean, it must be really hard to know what to do with powers that the corps describes as limitless. I guess it would kind of make if you were responsible enough to relinquish those powers if you didn’t think that you could properly…

Ah Christ! They let him keep his ring and lantern? Is it just me or does this seem incredibly irresponsible to anyone else? I mean if you quit halfway through the police academy I’m pretty sure they don’t give you a badge and a gun as a farewell present, so why should they give a dropout something infinitely more powerful? Remember, this isn’t some guy who already proved himself worthy to the corps during his training, this dude is already looked down on by everyone in the corps including the leader Sinestro, who stated that he believes there was a large mistake in the ring choosing him. Well, maybe this is just a way to set Ryan Reynolds up to prove them wrong, to prove to them that he will do the right thing once he returns to Earth.

But nah, he immediately screws that up too. After the corps decided it would be a good idea to let him keep the gun he decides to just start waving it around in the air and showing it to all his buddies. After being told by his fish headed Green Lantern mentor how important it is to protect his identity the first thing this guy does is reveal himself to his best friend and the chick he wants to hop in bed with. Oh, by the way, did I say “best friend”? I should probably hold off on that term since the only link he seems to have with the story critical character is the fact that they know each other from work. Shouldn’t he trust someone a little more implicitly than “work associate” before he divulges the most important secret on the planet to him? Yeah, I know he helped him at the alien crash scene as well but even THAT seems like quite a lot to ask from someone whose first name you barely know.

Well, back to the action, we witness the first time Hal gets to use his powers in a practical situation, and even though creating a turbo jet car and a track out of thin air to keep a crashing helicopter away from innocent bystanders seems a lot more complicated to do than creating… I dunno… a WALL… or a PILLOW… it seems to work out well enough. Then of course Hal shows off his identity to what’s-his-face and what’s-her-name which goes against everything we know about the corps… then something happens… something else happens… the #2 bad guy gets a giant head and tries to kill Tim Robbins. Then Hal busts in and saves the day. The climactic battle ensues… and this is where things get just plain creepy.

I know I’ve stated before that setting up climactic and epic showdowns between the hero and villain has become way too much of a focal point in Hollywood action films, but there has GOT to be a happy medium between Transformers and Green Lantern. Yeah, Transformers may have had WAY TOO MANY explosions, gunfights, and giant killer robots, but do you want to know how the climax of Green Lantern plays out? Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

SPOILERS BELOW

Hal comes smashing through the wall and saves How Stella Got Her Groove Back by creating a pool of water for her to fall into (and probably drown in), then gets knocked down by Big Head Guy (Bad Guy #2). Big Head Guy walks over to where he is lying helplessly, then falls over (yes, FALLS over, not lay down) and the two of the lay next to each other looking sheepishly into each other’s eyes. They take turns touching each other with their fingers while exchanging awkward quips, Big Head Guy burns Tim Robbins alive with some flame throwers while still looking into Hal’s eyes, and then Hal throws the bad guy into some steam, where he yells at him angrily before standing up and walking out the front door. I am NOT S**TTING you, that is how the climax plays out. If you think I’m exaggerating, feel free to watch the movie yourself and tell me otherwise.

END SPOILERS

So anyways, a whopping army of six whole Green Lanterns go to confront Bad Guy #1 (Parallax) in space who is controlling Big Head Guy on Earth. They of course get their asses kicked so Sinestro runs away instead of trying to help them and decides the best way to fight this power is by using the power of fear to create a yellow ring and defeat Parallax. For being the wisest and mightiest heroes in the galaxy these guys are practically retarded. They just saw the creation of this monster first hand when it tried to use fear, and the first thing they think of to fight is  “Well s**t, it seemed to work well for that guy, let’s do the same”. And this horrible idea stems from the loss of six Lanterns?

Listen… nobody likes losing their friends in battle, but when you take on this responsibility it seems that you are signing up to risk your life in defense of the universe. Losing six superheroes may sound like a crushing defeat, but just moments ago we saw an entire planet literally filled with Green Lanterns. Maybe instead of launching a last ditch campaign that will probably corrupt and eventually destroy every single Lantern you should try sending more than 0.00000000000000001% of your fighting force to deal with this guy, especially when just six of you seemed to be enough to almost defeat him in the last confrontation. Also, when a Lantern dies they don’t lose that power for the rest of time, the ring just finds someone new to wield it instead, so they could replace those lost lanterns in like, a month tops.

So the time for the final battle comes. Hal talks the council out of being stupid assholes and asks to let him fight Parallax instead. They snicker behind their hands and tell him sure… go for it, so he heads back to Earth to fight Big Head Guy. Hal is ready for the final confrontation, he’s pumped, he’s angry, and he uses his cosmic powers to… immediately surrender all over again and give that power to the bad guy (ugh). Why did the ring choose this idiot in the first place? So he hands over the ring… stuff happens again… Parallax shows up and says Bad Guy #2 has failed him (HOW?!? This dude just got you the most powerful weapon in the universe?) and kills him. Hal of course gets his ring back and creates a whole bunch of items to conveniently stop this planet sized dude.

Around this time I was REALLY starting to get tired of the Green Lantern creating items out of thin air to fight the bad guys. It was cool once or twice, but after about two hours it begins to stop resembling a superhero movie and starts to resemble Inspector Gadget. I looked up the wiki on Green Lantern and his powers are limitless, but apparently the only thing this movie decided to focus on was flying and making crap like jets (that somehow fly in space) up on the fly. Good guys win… Green Lanterns love humans, and they all live happily ever after.

So the story stinks, but at the very least it doesn’t suffer from the problem I pointed out in my last review, glazing over important components of the story arc. This film was written with a beginning, a middle, and an end, and more importantly it had an introduction, rising action, climax, falling action, and a resolution. If a jumbled, disjointed mess like this film could get that right then I don’t understand how other big budget films could screw it up so badly.

It was a shame that this film failed so miserably because there were several things in it that really set it apart from other action films as well. Ryan Reynolds did a great job in the role of Hal Jordan, and this role is something of a record because it makes him the only actor I can think of who has played three major comic book characters (his other two were Hannibal King and Wade Wilson/Deadpool) well. He brought a sort of happy, childish glee to the role that I think every person in the world would exhibit if they got these powers. It reminded me of Chris Evans in Fantastic Four, who, if you remember, was the only good thing about that piece of crap movie as well. It was just really good to see someone embrace a role so completely that I have a feeling he probably grew up loving comic books.

The effects were pretty solid as well, and even though several parts of the film were purposely cartoony the majority of the film looked pretty polished and cool. It was also really nice to see prosthetics used instead of overusing CGI again, as Big-Head-Guy was a thousand times more real looking than any version of CG Yoda. Also nice to see was that the film wasn’t afraid to bring a sense of cosmic importance to the table, you really felt there was a lot at stake if the Lanterns failed. Just including the space aspect of the franchise was a breath of fresh air as well, since most comic book movies will neuter the space angle because they are afraid of alienating (no pun intended) the audience.

That being said, there were countless other things about the film that I hated, but didn’t bring up in my summary. One of the funniest that stood out in my head was the “lack of nerves” attack and flashback scene that Hal has in his fighter jet at the beginning of the movie. A few years ago there was a satire of jet fighter action movies called Hot-Shots, and one of the funnier spoofs included in the film was a very funny satire of Charlie Sheen freaking out in his cockpit whenever anyone mentioned his dad. The way it was shot, the voiceovers while it happened, the close-up of his face while the radio screamed in his ear, it all looked like a funny interpretation of every action movie ever where the hero has an emotional breakdown, and it was hysterical.

Unfortunately, the makers of Green Lantern decided to channel that exact scene in this film, and the result it just as hilarious, only not intentionally. They may as well have given Hal the callsign “Maverick-Right-After-Goose-Dies” he freaks out so badly, and even more ridiculous is the fact that absolutely NOTHING triggered his breakdown except for a picture of his father he keeps on his instruments gauges (because in flight school they teach you it’s smart to cover up your instruments with a whole bunch of random s**t). If he flies with that picture all the time then how come he’s never freaked out like that before? The Scene just came off sooooooo cheesy.

The cinematography is just as mediocre and generic as this scene as well, as almost every single shot of the film is a flat angle shot. No imagination or unique storytelling here, just flat angle shot after flat angle shot at every turn. Dance scene in the bar? Flat angle shot. Showing his costume to his friend? Flat Angle Shot. Talking to the Overlords about Parallax? Flat angle shot. Flat angle shot, flat angle shot, flat angle shot, flat angle shot, flat angle shot, flat angle shot, flat angle shot. The cinematographer broke new ground when he decided to show weapons materialize in Hal and Sinestro’s hands from a (gasp) low angle shot, and then showed Hal murdering a bunch of rowdy bar patrons with a giant fist from a (wait for it)… high angle shot. Even most of the jet fighter scenes were shot at a flat angle!

And oh yeah, the acting! Where the hell was it in this film? I can’t even imagine how irritating it must have been to be Ryan Reynolds and see everyone around you just reading their lines with no emotion, especially considering how hard he tried to make this movie work. The only other person in the film who didn’t look like he was ready for a nap was Tim Robbins, but his role was so minor and insignificant that his performance is mostly wasted. I don’t know who Blake Lively is, but I didn’t buy into her character al all. I have a feeling that Big Head Guy was trying to inject a sinister edge or something into his role and have some fun with it, but he just came of sorta gay and weird, especially in that awkward climax. Even the usually awesome Mark Strong came off sounding bored out of his mind, like he wanted to be in any film but this one.

Once again we are given a Hollywood assembly line action film, mostly devoid of feeling, personality, and soul. It comes off like a movie imitating a movie, with all the crucial points of a film replaced by sterile special effects and uninteresting characters. Despite the surprisingly likeable turn in from Ryan Reynolds and the generic but sort of enjoyable first half, the film’s self-destructive second half totally ruins what could have been a great comic film.

5.5 out of 10

Toothpick TV: Fringe

A lot of great shows never even come close to getting the respect that they deserve before they are taken off the air because of lack of viewers. Firefly, Tru Calling, Dollhouse, Arrested Development, Deadwood, The Shield, The 4400, and of course The Wire are just a few of the many great shows that seem to slip through the cracks amongst a sea of much higher rated shows such as… ugh… Whitney, Will and Grace, and Jersey Shore. This week’s TV pick not only happens to be a phenomenal show struggling with the ratings problem, but a contender for my favorite show currently on TV.

Fringe is a science fiction/mystery drama that revolves around the supernatural cases investigated by the specialized “Fringe Division” of the FBI. It’s the third television brainchild of the always interesting JJ Abrams (Lost, Alias, Cloverfield, MI: III, Super 8) and right off the bat this series got a lot of attention because it sounded and looked like a beefed up, better version of the X-files. Instead of simply following two agents however, this show revolves more around the division itself, including a strong lead by relative newcomer Anna Torv as protagonist Special Agent Olivia Dunham, a talented Joshua Jackson as consultant and liaison Peter Bishop, the perpetually outstanding Lance Reddick as Agent Phillip Broyles, and John Noble as the eccentric and slightly schizotypal scientific researcher Walter Bishop in a role so brilliantly interpreted and portrayed that it astounds me he has not yet won an Emmy, let alone been nominated.  In many ways though, Fringe far exceeds even the best strengths of the X-files, with a much deeper main story arc, more interesting and likeable characters, and a more intriguing and mysterious antagonists.

Like X-Files, Fringe’s weekly stories revolve around the “Monster of the Week” storyline structure, which means that every week the division must investigate a new case of supernatural origin, but where most X-file monsters were usually isolated episodic events that typically had no connection with the occasional “Smoking Man” episodes sprinkled in, Fringe episodes go out of the way to have the story advanced every week, even if it is just a little. At first these episodes deal with an emerging series of strange events referred to as “The Pattern”, but as the mystery of these incidents slowly unfolds and the story advances the heroes begin to discover that there is a much more sinister and deeper conspiracy underlying these strange occurrences.

As I mentioned before, the creator and producer of this show is JJ Abrams, who gained a lot of fame (and notoriety) by becoming the master of conspiracy with his almost torturous creation of mysteries made famous in Lost. Throughout the entire series of Lost many questions were left unanswered, and every time one of them was explained the show would create two more for the viewer to pull their hair out over. This trend eventually created a storyline that was so tangled and contradictory that by the end of the show, even with a final season dedicated to explaining every mystery they STILL didn’t have answers to all of the questions brought up throughout the series. This created quite a backlash of anger from the viewers after the series finale, with many people calling it everything from “The Worst Season of Lost Ever” to “The Worst Season of Television Ever”, and eventually JJ Abrams himself issued a statement which was basically an apology for how the show fell apart after he left.

JJ Abrams seems to have learned from his mistakes however, and where Lost utterly failed with its’ handling of mysteries, Fringe excels. Questions brought up in the beginning of each season are more or less explained and dealt with by the end, and fresh mysteries never have a chance to grow stagnant and forgotten as seasons pass. The audience’s continued watching and dedication to the show is rewarded with rich, compelling storytelling that perpetually moves the story forward, and as mysteries are solved fresh questions are brought up to replace them in a sort of ever expanding web of mystery. There is, however, one critical question in the show that has yet to answer, an important mystery that was introduced in the first season, but this mystery is vital to the advancement of the story and it is handled with respect and deliberate pacing. When the time comes to finally answer it the answer won’t take an entire season to explain like Lost, so I don’t have much of an issue with it remaining a mystery.

At its’ heart Fringe is an excellent and well written mystery, but each episode brings with it powerful and interesting twists in the overall story. The direction is taut and exciting, creating a sense of tension when necessary interfused with moments of well written comic relief (usually courtesy of Walter). The show also deals with very important world issues on a more subliminal base, issues such as morality, segregation, fear (both of the unknown and in general), ethical science and research, and a truly believable and interesting love story arc between two of the main characters. The camerawork is excellent, so much so that you can often find yourself forgetting that this is simply a TV show and not a big budget movie. It’s not flashy or distracting like one of the many CSIs or NCIS, but it’s well worked, well framed, and uses the occasional camera trick to create a sense of supernatural undertone that goes a long way towards establishing the perfect atmosphere for a show like this.

One of the things sets Fringe on a higher plane of likeability that all the other shows on TV is the little touches and nods to other established works that it goes out of the way to acknowledge. Tiny details and storylines often help excel this show past the competition, everything from a small camera trick here, to a little homage here. A good example would be an episode that explores the work of Dr. Bishop before his eventual downfall. Now obviously the entire episode takes place in the eighties, but instead of simply using the same introductory theme the creators of the show put together this brilliant homage to eighties TV logos.

Here is the original…



And here is the eighties version…



All in all this is one of the most compelling television shows I have seen in quite a while, and one of the reasons why I am beginning to like TV more than film due to its’ expert storytelling over meaningless effects. The first and second seasons are sublime, and include episodes that are nothing short of the best television I have ever seen, chock full of incredible moments like the twists at the end of the first episode, the introduction of “The Observers”, and Olivia’s freakishly strange car accident in the season premiere of Season 2. Everything about this show is handled with the respect and appropriate pacing one would expect to see from a ratings powerhouse, despite the fact that this show has been perpetually struggling for viewers.

Which brings me to my final point, missing this show would be a crime, which is why I am so saddened to see it constantly fighting the ax as it tries to bring new viewers into its’ interesting story. I myself was a latecomer, and I didn’t start getting into this show until I downloaded the first season from my companies shared drive in Iraq, but as soon as I got home I watched every episode of it on Netflix, bought season 3 when it came out, and forced my wife and her family to watch it from the beginning (all of them are now caught up and addicted). One weakness this show has that the X-files doesn’t however is a weakness that it shares with Arrested Development, in that it is very hard for the average viewer to simply “jump in” to the show halfway through its’ fourth season. It is best enjoyed when begun from episode one, but many people’s schedules are flat out too hectic to start a new series from scratch just to catch up with where it is now.

This is also a good point however, as that first season is so exciting and so interesting that I am honestly envious of everyone who gets to watch it without knowing what they are getting into. Whether you’re a fan of mysteries, dramas, sci-fi, shows that are a bit different from everything else out there, or just have some down time to catch up on one of the best kept secrets on TV, this show has something that everyone can enjoy.

Captain America: The First Avenger

Captain America: The First Avenger is the final new Marvel property to be given the cinema treatment before The Avengers comes out next summer. The film was a crucial element to this franchise, as fans of Marvel will know that Cap is actually the leader of the Avengers in the comic, so naturally this film’s success was going to be very important for the setup of the Avengers film. Now I loved both of the Iron Man films, I greatly enjoyed Thor, and I even kind of dug the majority of The Incredible Hulk, but while I was watching these films I couldn’t help but remember that they were all equally important to the franchise. So how does Captain America stack up to these box office powerhouses? Not the worst, but far from the best.

Really quick though, I’d like to get something out in the open. A lot of people who know me know that I love Red Letter Media, to the point where I have been recommending them to all of my friends, but now I’m starting to get sick of watching their reviews. My frustration has nothing to do with the quality of their material, which is always ingenious, but as I watched their review of Captain America I was (once again) completely overwhelmed by how they brought up every single problem I planned on addressing with the movie, to the point where I almost don’t want to write this review because I’m afraid it will look like a rip-off of everything they said. But… I’m gonna do it anyways as I have been thinking of what to write for the better part of the weekend, and I’ll try my best to bring out some new stuff as well.

First of all, we’ll talk about what works with the film, and happily I actually have a lot of stuff to write about with this field. The first half to two-thirds of the film feels like a very cool, very original take on a period piece put together with a comic book origin story. The look and feel of the film shares the classic Joe Johnston period feeling that was in with The Rocketeer, and all the characters of the film are played well by the respective leads. Chris Evans plays two sides of the coin with perfection, and it’s easy to see why he’s quickly becoming one of Hollywood’s leading men because of the sad, downtrodden performance he turns in while he plays “original” skinny Steve Rogers, a patriot and true hero stuck in a weakling’s body. We feel the depression and sadness that Steve feels when he is rejected time and time again for service, and as we see the good guy and true patriot lurking beneath his unimpressive frame we can’t wait to see the transformation we know is coming.

The rest of the cast is rounded out well, as Tommy Lee Jones is classically grumpy and bitter, Hugo Weaving is fantastically sinister, and newcomer Hayley Atwell is charming and likeable in her performance of Peggy Carter. The real star of the show however, is the always outstanding Stanley Tucci as Dr. Abraham Erskine. Tucci’s subtle and brilliant application of a gentle kindness and soul turns what could have been a thankless role into a powerhouse of a father-like figure. I would honestly see a back story about his background in the Third Reich and his dealing with Red Skull. Dominic Cooper does a good job as well playing Tony Stark’s father Howard, but sadly Neal McDonough’s perfect portrayal of Dun-Dun Dugan is reduced to a “blink and you miss it” role, as is Sebastian Stan’s Bucky.

The first half of the film does a great job setting the stage for Cap, and creates an amazing recreation of America in the throes of WWII. After Steve finally gets the procedure to turn him into Captain America a thrilling chase sequence creates a sense of our hero unaware of his own power that I have never seen done so well in any comic book movie before. As he chases an enemy agent he overshoots streets, crashing through windows due to legs that are much stronger and faster than he is used to. As much as I loved the original Spiderman the biggest complaint I had with it was how Peter magically knew how to swing through the city the first time he tries it. That’s not the case here, as most of the film revolves around Steve unsure of his new position, both in strength and in fame. We see that Erskine chose well, as even after receiving his new gifts we see that the only thing Steve wants is to go to the front lines and fight in the war.

Following his transformation Steve is stuck doing a series of War Bond propaganda performances, and we are treated to a classic WWII montage of his performances as he does his best to help his country in the only way he is allowed. It isn’t long however until he finally gets his moment to take his skills to war, and he finally sees an opportunity to go to battle when he realizes his best friend has been taken hostage. So we gear up, get ready, and finally make our way into action movie territory.

Sadly, this is where things begin to fall apart in the film, and at a surprisingly quick pace. As the action revs up and we see Cap go to war the pace of the film quickens to that of a rocket ship… with us holding on to the tail fins desperately trying to keep up with the story. Entire chunks of important information are disseminated in mere moments, nearly as bad as they were handled in Transformers 3. One moment Cap is at odds with his love interest over a momentary lapse of judgment, and then mere minutes later they are apparently in love while we weren’t shown any significant progression on how they arrived at that point. I feel like the quick pace of the second half of this film seriously tarnished what could have been a great entry into the comic book franchise and the upcoming Avengers film. Even worse is the fact that I honestly didn’t know that we were at the final showdown of the film until we see the Red Skull taking off in a plane we recognize from the beginning, the end of the film was just so rushed. If the film had been given an additional thirty minutes or so of expository dialogue I think this movie could have been one of the better superhero movie entries to come out in quite a while.

Now Captain America is not the first adaptation film to suffer from this problem, as it is normally something associated with all films involving the origin of a character. This problem is known as “Origin Story Syndrome”, and while many comic book films suffer from it this is probably one of the worst cases I have seen in a while of the “rushed second half” problem. Spiderman suffered from this problem, but they were able to more or less overcome it by packing the origin story into the first forty minutes or so of the film while creating a villain for us in the same timeframe. This timeframe allowed for both character developments to happen evenly and early on, and then left the us with another hour and twenty minutes left of film, plenty of time to set-up the conflict between Spidey and Goblin as opposed to Captain America’s roughly forty-five minutes.

Another example of a movie that was able to overcome “Origin Story Syndrome” was Batman Begins, and they solved this problem in a very unique way, they turned the entire film into an origin story. Sure, you can argue that Bruce Wayne only trained for the first half of the film, but throughout all of the second half we see the character of the Batman himself still evolving throughout the film. The first time Bruce Wayne pays a visit to Gordon he’s only wearing his body armor and a ski mask, and his inexperience and lack of equipment nearly gets his retarded ass killed when he almost plummets to his doom. Later on he nearly gets gassed to death and set on fire because he hadn’t learned to mind his surroundings. After that he finally begins to master the art of fear, and at roughly the four-fifths mark we finally see him humbled once he sees how not yet overcoming his arrogant impulsiveness costs him his family’s mansion. The final step in Batman’s training at the end of the film mirrors the final act he was supposed to commit during his training with the League of Shadows where he refused to execute a murderer, and while he still refuses to kill the evil Rhas-al Ghul himself he makes the decision to let him die at his own hands, creating a linchpin choice in the creation of Batman. These films show how with a little creative thinking and good film making a well-made superhero movie can overcome Origin Story Syndrome.

Something else that bugged me was the ham-fisted use of CG during the war scenes. Early use of CG to show Chris Evans as a weakling was done so perfectly and seamlessly that I couldn’t stop raving about how amazing it looked. I wish I had the same life problems that Chris Evans apparently has in the beginning of the film, where they need to use state of the art CG to make him look like I normally do. Once the war begins though the direction and cinematography seems to forget that practical, real effects can be super effective in a WWII period piece like in Saving Private Ryan and Band of Brothers. If they had stuck with using practical effects like this augmented slightly with a touch of CG here and there the movie would have been much more impressive looking. Instead we get entire backgrounds that are reminiscent of the lazy CG background paintings of the Star Wars prequels, almost cartoonish looking scenes mapped against crazy action sequences that actually jolt the audience out of the period.

Now you may be thinking that a suspension of belief is always required with these films, but I’m talking about lazy film making and a lack of detail that creates a scene that makes no sense. A good example is an action scene where Cap and friends zip-line onto a superfast bullet train that is carrying a key scientist for HYDRA. Right off the bat the background looks silly and painted, but it’s acceptable as a CG scene because obviously they couldn’t do this trick onto a real speeding train going this fast. Where the film fails to create a proper illusion though is that once the guys are on the top of the train they seem to forget that this thing looks like it’s going about 140 mph because Cap and his soldiers are walking on top of it without any wind, cold, or any elements of the scene directly opposing them. It wouldn’t have been hard to have them struggling against the whipping wind, walking slowly, leaning into it while maybe a stage hand has a super strong wind machine blowing in their face, but in the movie I don’t even think I saw their clothes fluttering. In fact I could be mistaken, but I think the black soldier was wearing a cap that never got blown off the whole time they were on this speeding locomotive.

CG scenes like this detract from the atmosphere that this film could have had going for it as one of its greatest strengths, and it’s a shame to see it this way because movies have had great train action scenes since the beginning of film. In fact the train robbery in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid was made with a fraction of this film’s budget and came out looking a thousand times better due to the realistic camerawork and stunt work involved. It wasn’t just one scene either, as there were a number of potentially outstanding action pieces that seemed to be ruined by sloppy camerawork and rushed storylines. It just feels like a real shame that the second half of the film was such a letdown compared to the first half.

This apparent shortfall is just one small part of the problem I had with the film, as one of my more major concerns was the symbolism of the period, or rather, the lack of any. This film could have been an amazing look at an alternate timeline in life when a superhero fought the Nazis in WWII, classic symbolism like an American Flag vs. the Swastika could have created an emotional powerhouse and connected with the audience in a great way. Instead, the legion of oh-so-wise producers overseeing the film decided to do away with almost every piece of WWII symbolism in a pathetic effort to make this film appeal to audiences worldwide. The only semblance of an American flag is Cap’s shield, I don’t even think I saw a swastika, and the producers even tried their best to have “America” taken out of the film’s title and simply have it called The First Avenger.

How pathetic and cowardly has Hollywood become to go so far out of their way to not want to offend the overseas market? One of the biggest things I hear about this film is that Joe Johnston was picked to direct it because of his prior film The Rocketeer, but did the producers forget that a majority of this film revolved around American patriotism? I am seriously getting sick and tired of this PC bulls**t trying to neuter every single possible implication that someone in a film might actually be proud of the country they were born and raised in, such as the did in the new Superman film when he said he fought for “Truth, justice, and peace” as opposed to his original ideals of “Truth, justice, and the American way”, and if you listen very closely to the dialogue of Captain America you never really hear a lot of people talking about how they are fighting “for their country” like they should be saying. Genuine, great, real scenes involving anything even resembling pride in their country have become a thing of the past, even in a film about the greatest patriot in the history of comics, and this continuing fad of fading out any sort of national pride is flat out insulting to filmgoers.

Say what you will about The Rocketeer, but I would rather watch that film any day over the drivel that is being produced by Hollywood these days, and anyone who has seen the film can attest to the feel-good patriotism that is apparent in most of the film. In fact, one of my favorite scenes revolved around mob boss Eddie Valentine (a thinly veiled copy of Al Capone) telling his employer, the villainous Sinclair, to go screw himself once he realized that Sinclair was a Nazi secret agent. How cool is the idea that a self proclaimed monster such as Valentine finds the idea of betraying his country utterly loathsome? It just makes you feel kinda giddy that even a truly despicable person draws the line at treason.

But even though this is the same director making a film that should have promoted MORE patriotism, I have a mental picture of a snooty Hollywood producer shaking his head every time Johnston snuck in an American flag. Look, I don’t blame Johnston for this decision, and I know Hollywood is full of liberal, bed-wetting pussies, but you seriously have to draw the line at rewriting history and renaming a freaking FRANCHISE for the sake of your ticket sales. And by the way, despite the fact that Johnston refused to change the name to The First Avenger the film performed outstanding outside the US, so once again the producers are made to look like idiots for  trying to change the name.

The last major issue I had with the film can be partially blamed for the rushed second half, but I bring it up anyways because I see it happening more and more in summer action films. This story has pretty much NO resolution, and even though it has a brief attempt to transition into a commercial for the upcoming Avengers film it ends almost immediately after the climax. I’ve noticed this incredibly frustrating trend in more and more Hollywood blockbusters such as Mr. and Mrs. Smith, the Star Wars prequels, any Resident Evil movie, and (you guessed it) every Transformers film. In fact almost all of the Transformer films end immediately after the final confrontation, although I’m guessing this is because Michael Bay probably panicked and sped through the end as fast as he could when he realized that it’s pretty much impossible to create a resolution without explosions.

The point is that this crap shouldn’t be happening in Hollywood films AT ALL, let alone happening at an increasingly more common pace. This is basic storytelling 101 people, and how these high profile directors can’t nail a simple concept like this is baffling to me. There are many different ways to structure a basic three act story, but in a nutshell it can all be broken down into five parts of a story arc that looks something like this.



This is often referred to as “The Dramatic Structure” or a “Story Arc”. I guarantee that this basic rule can be found in any of your favorite films (as long as they are good), and I’ll even apply it to one of my favorite top five films, The Empire Strikes Back, even though it can be found in all five:

Part 1: Exposition/Introduction-The exposition provides the background information needed to properly understand the story, such as the problem in the beginning of the story.

Example-Luke, Han, Leia, and friends are introduced, and we learn they are establishing a new secret base. Vader is introduced as he attempts to hunt down Luke for purposes not yet known.

Part 2: Rising Action-During Rising Action, the basic internal conflict is complicated by the introduction of related secondary conflicts, obstacles, and possibly secondary adversaries that may work with the main antagonist or separately for themselves or actions unknown.

Example-The rebellion loses control of the Hoth base and is forced to evacuate. Hand and Leia go on the run while Luke searches out Yoda to train him as a Jedi. Boba Fett and the bounty hunters are introduced to hunt down the heroes. Han and Leia are eventually betrayed and captured and Luke decides to rescue them against the wishes of Yoda and Obi-Wan

Part 3: Climax-Also known as the “Turning Point” marks a change, for better or worse, in the protagonist’s struggle. If the story is a comedy, things that have gone badly for the character will begin to go well. If the story is a tragedy, the opposite will occur. In a nutshell, this is the most dramatic and important part of the story.

Example-Han is frozen in carbonite and taken by Boba Fett. Leia, Chewie and Lando shoot their way out of Bespin and are pursued by the Empire’s TIE fighters. Luke is defeated in battle with Vader, learns that Vader is his father, and sacrifices himself rather than join the dark side.

Part 4: Falling Action-During the falling action which is the moment of reversal after the climax, the conflict between the protagonist and the antagonist unravels, with the protagonist winning or losing against the antagonist. The falling action might contain a moment of final suspense, during which the final outcome of the conflict is in doubt as we head into the conclusion.

Example-Luke is rescued by Leia and Lando, who are still being pursued by the Imperial Fleet in a frantic pursuit as Vader unsuccessfully continues to try to convert Luke. The Millenium Falcon goes into hyperspace moments before being captured.

Part 5: Denouement/Resolution-All conflicts are resolved. A release of tension and anxiety is achieved for the characters and the audience.

Example-Luke and Leia are shown safe with the Rebellion Fleet. Lando and Chewie leave to rescue Han. George Lucas strokes his beard in sadistic envy at how Irvin Kirshner was able to utterly outdo him in every way.

When you look at this example you can see how a film with great pacing and storytelling like Empire and pretty much any other great film follows this basic simple structure, so it’s confusing to me how these writers and directors who land the biggest jobs in Hollywood could screw something like a resolution up so badly. When you can’t handle something as simple as a resolution then it’s time to move on from movies, and don’t tell me there wasn’t time for a proper resolution because you can do one quite well with a limited time window if you’re creative. The Prestige had a brilliant final dialogue that wrapped up all the loose ends, relaxed the tension of the film, and answered the question that compelled the entire conflict of the story, all in the span of less than five minutes. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly dealt with Falling Action and Resolution brilliantly as well by following the climactic Mexican standoff with less than ten minutes of screen time. In that ten minutes we had falling action with digging up the gold and hanging Tuco, resolution with Blondie shooting him down, and even a final iconic shot of Blondie riding off into the sunset.

New directors and big budget films seem to be happily skipping all of these massive bookmarks in storytelling. Mr and Mrs Smith had the climactic final gun battle in a department store, skips over Falling Action all together, and then gives a half assed thirty second final therapy session with the two characters where NOTHING is resolved or tied up. Captain America has the climactic showdown on the airplane, barely addresses Falling Action as he crash lands the plane, and then includes a few minutes of Peggy looking over Cap’s files and Cap waking up in modern day New York as a hardly satisfactory resolution. And of course… Transformers 3 ends with the obligatory “Optimus fighting Big Bad Guy” climax, a few clips of the main characters standing around aimlessly that resolves nothing, and Optimus spouting useless words of wisdom before a sudden and jarring edit to “DIRECTED BY MICHAEL BAY”. Yup, ol’ Mike skips over Falling action and Resolution altogether.

All in all though at the end of the day I can overlook these problems and recommend Captain America as an enjoyable mindless action romp. My biggest regret about it however is just seeing such a promising first half followed by so many easily correctable mistakes peppering the second half.

7 out of 10